Six years ago yesterday, I created the Immortal Music Facebook page. A lot has changed in the last six years, including the name of the page. It all began on a little Facebook page called Music = Life. I had originally created it just to share my love of music with people who also loved music.
In the early days, that's all it was. I would post a Song Of The Day, random lyrics, pictures, and the occasional news article. I would just chat with people, and that was the extent of it. It was all just fun....that is until a friend of mine introduced me to Bryan Stars interviews. I don't remember exactly when he showed me Bryan's interviews, probably not long after the creation of the page, but it was a life changing thing.
That sounds really dramatic, but it honestly has changed my life. I'm sure I've told this story before, but there's new people around now, and its been a while, so I'm going to tell the story anyways. He showed me the first interview Bryan did with Andy Biersack, who went by Andy Six at the time. So many different thoughts came to my mind, as this was also my introduction to Black Veil Brides. As I was watching, and laughing at Andy's pure sass, a thought hit me. Why am I not doing this?
I love music, why not write about music. That's when I began doing just that. If you look far enough back on the page, you can see exactly where this all began. I however, did not look back because when I was writing this, it was almost 8 am, and I had work within the hour, so time wasn't exactly permitting a lot of searching. You can see where I started sharing interviews, and even writing very early posts. I don't remember all I posted on the page, but Immortal Music had many different stages.
I recently was reminded that I actually dabbled a little tiny bit with this concept all the way back in 2009, so in a way, Bryan Stars was just opening the door for a wind already trying to get through. Was that a weird analogy? It probably is, but I'm moving on anyway. I actually did my first interview on that page. I'm pretty sure I posted it as a note, and I know I did it over Facebook Messenger.
I would write biographies and reviews, print them out and put them in a portfolio. My goal was to go work for Alternative Press magazine, and slowly, it turned into me wanting to do my own thing.
Its been an interesting road really. Its had a lot of up's and down's, and has taught me a lot. Not only about the industry, music artists, and the music itself, but also about goals. People make your dreams / dedications/ goals sound constant, but doing this for the last six years has taught me something.
Nothing is constant.
No matter how much you love something, you will have periods where you aren't excited to work on it. Where it feels like work, so you drag your feet a little bit to get something going, or you flat out just don't feel like doing it. Its only been recently when I came to the realization that those periods are normal and important.
I can't tell you how many times I've ended up in tears because I felt guilty for not writing, or even just not wanting to write but doing it anyway. For every time I was excited to do it, and happily wrote many things in one sitting, there's at least one where I felt uninspired and writing one thing felt like a chore. You can have too much of a good thing -even when its your dream.
And that doesn't mean you're giving up, or that you've lost interest. Or that its hopeless. It simply means you're human and things come in waves. Its part of life, and you know what? That's okay.
I've finally accepted that, and it took me six years to realize its okay if you don't want to push yourself sometimes. Pushing yourself leads to burn outs, and trust me, I've gotten burned out several times over the last several years. And if you look back through the archives, you can probably see when those times were because there's gaps in between things were posted.
Sometimes those gaps came from being completely discouraged, but other times were simply just because I felt uninspired and life got in the way. That's sort of where I'm at right now, but for once I don't have that little voice in the back of my head that progressively gets louder and pushier. Normally the voice is constantly going, "Hey, stop being lazy and write. You have to do this, no excuses." But then another part of me sees that I have a reason not to. I work basically full time at this point, and try to maintain relationships with friends. Frankly, I don't always want to come home from busting my ass at work, to do more work. And I've never had someone pointing out when I didn't post something, and I finally realized why.
To everyone else this is FUN, and originally this was all for fun for me as well. Then it became so much more, and that is a beautiful thing, but you know what? So is fun. So I'm going to, at least for a while do it when I feel like it. I think its more genuinely written when I'm not forcing it, therefor more fun to read anyways, so I'm just going to do it that way.
And the reason why I'm posting this is not only because I wanted to reflect, but I wanted to let you guys know what's going on.
This is not me giving up, its me allowing myself to relax once in a while. Everyone should do that, because without that time, you just end up overworked, stressed out, uninspired and upset. That ruins a great thing, so things will be posted here and there, I'm still going to be covering shows, but I am going to relax a little bit. I hope everyone understands that.
On that note, thank you to everyone who's been there all of these years, or to anyone who's been there at all. Your support is appreciated greatly, and I hope you stick around for a long, long time. I still plan on trying to do great things, and would love to have you along for the ride.
Blogs of various topics go here, and all are written by Immortal Music's creator. You never know what you may find here, so have a look around.